Mrs. Napierski: An Unexpected Desire

     

Tick-Tock, HSSSSS, Crackle; the white noise of calm, and “silence” nestled in around me as I looked out the window. Curled tightly in a Sherpa blanket with a cup of warm tea in my hands as the trees swayed to and fro, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of longing. What is missing? I asked myself. 

For weeks I had been excitedly waiting for a moment of peace and serenity. I had clung to the hope of relaxing and thinking about absolutely nothing. I longed for this, but it wasn’t at all what I had thought it would be. Suddenly, I became confused and almost angry. The stresses of life and work combined had been making it very difficult to keep a positive attitude and smile every day, and all I thought I wanted and needed was a break. However, when my break came, it was nothing like what I expected. 

Slightly frustrated, I got up, poured the remnants of my tea down the sink, and decided to get ready for Christmas Eve dinner early. I turned on some classic Frank Sinatra Christmas songs, warmed up my curling iron, and began the process of “putting on my face.” Singing along with the classics began to cheer me up as I attempted to harmonize with Ol’ Blue Eyes. About an hour later, my hair was curled and my face was on; my husband was patiently waiting for me (as he always will).

The car ride to my in-laws' house was normal, but it was what happened that night that inspired me and gave me a whole new perspective. This was the first time I had spent Christmas with my in-laws, and I wasn’t sure what to expect; mind you, I have spent many normal weekends and holidays with them before and have always had the time of my life (my in-laws are wonderful)! For some reason, this being the first Christmas with them made me slightly nervous.

Of course, as soon as the night began to pick up momentum, I was totally fine, and I found myself having a grand old time. There was laughter. There was joy, and there were games being played and jokes being told. In the typical sense of the word, there was not a bit of peace to be had, yet I found myself more content and with less on my mind than ever before. In the loudness, craziness, and amazing chaos, I had found joy, rest, and relaxation. 

This winter break made me realize that my unexpected desire for the rest of the school year is loudness, fun, joy, and amazing chaos so that I can find “peace” in the workplace. They say that students are learning best when they are playing and having conversation; sometimes, a loud classroom is a learning classroom. I cannot wait for amazing chaos to ensue! Happy New Year!